Eboniña Evans MA, LMFT MFC #97688 | 1944 Fillmore Street, Ste. 1, San Francisco, CA 94115 | Phone: (415) 508-8345 | Email: ebonina@eonwellness.com

Anxiety

Anxiety is the feeling of fear or panic.  Most people feel anxious, panicky, or fearful about situations in life, such as money problems or exams but often once the difficult situation is over, you feel better and calmer.  Sometimes the feelings of fear or anxiety can continue after the difficult situation has passed or sometimes you may feel a stronger sense of fear than other people.  This is when anxiety becomes a problem and can affect you doing every day things.

You may experience anxiety because of your family history & genes or it could be down to something else like a traumatic event(s).  Some physical or mental health problems can make you anxious, as well.

 

If you are suffering from anxiety, you do not have to.  There are effective ways to eliminate it or at least tame and make it manageable.  Studies indicate that cognitive and behavioral mindfulness techniques really do work.  Our feelings don’t have to dictate our lives.

Depression

Most people feel depressed at times.  Losing a loved one, getting fired from a job, going through a divorce, and other difficult situation can lead a person to feel sad, lonely, scared, nervous, or anxious.

 

Depression is more than just sadness.  It interferes with daily life and causes pain for you and everyone who cares about you.  It’s a common illness, but a very serious one.

 

The term “depression” often characterizes feelings of being sad, discouraged, hopeless, irritable, unmotivated, as well as a general lack of interest or pleasure in life.  When these feelings last for a short period of time, it may be called a passing cause of “the blues.”  But it’s likely to be a depressive disorder when they last for more that two weeks and interfere with regular daily activities.

 

Depression can affect people of any age, including children, teenagers, adults, and older adults.

 
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Many of us have witnessed or experienced a serious illness, an accident, a personal assault, or other traumatic events.  With time the grief typically passes, the pain lessen, and life eventually gets back to normal.

 

Most people recover from traumatic events, but some experience severe distress, anxiety, and depression for depression for months or even years.  They frequently re-experience the event through intrusive thoughts, upsetting reminders, or nightmares; relaxing, concentrating, or sleeping become difficult.  They often feel detached or estranged from loved ones.  These are symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.

 

It is characterized by four main types of symptoms:

  1. Re-experiencing a traumatic event through intrusive distressing recollections, flashbacks, nightmares, or sudden floods of emotions long after a trauma

  2. Emotional numbness and avoidance of places, people, and activities that are reminders of the trauma, withdrawing from family or friends for months or years

  3. Feeling cut off from others and other negative alterations in cognitions (ways of thinking, understanding, learning, and remembering) and mood: guilt and self-blame, and a persistent negative emotional state

  4. Marked changes in arousal and reactivity, including difficulty sleeping, feeling jumpy, easily irritated, and angered, lack of concentration long after witnessing a natural disaster

 

These symptoms usually occur within a few weeks of a trauma, but they may not appear for several months or even years.

 
 
Self Esteem

"Why is Having a Sense of Self-Esteem & Worth Important?"

Your sense of self-worth is a measure of how YOU value YOURSELF.  It is your understanding of your qualitites, your strengths, and your personal attributes.

 

  • It recognizes that you are valuable because you are you, you are unique, and there is no one else like you in the world

  • It helps you get through tough situations, and to pick yourself up and try again if things don't work out as you would have hoped

  • A healthy sense of self-worth is NOT the same as having an inflated ego

  • It is not about thinking you are great just because you might be good at something, or have an appealing physical attribute.  You can have a healthy self-worth without having stand out skills

 

"How Do I Establish Healthy Personal Boundaries?"

  • Know that you have a right to personal boundaries

  • Recognize that other people's needs and feeeings are not more important than your own

  • Learn to say, "No"

  • Identify the actions and behaviors that you find acceptable & respect for yourself

  • Trust and believe in yourself

 

Learning to set healthy personal boundaries is necessary for maintaining a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others define us.

 

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others.  They allow us to seperate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others.  Their presence helps ourselves as the unique individuals we are, while we acknowledge the same in others.

 
Sex Worker Support

Are you looking for nonjudgemental, sex positive, empathetic, and empowering support?

I am here for you to provide a listening ear and a caring space free of judgement and negativity.  Sometimes you just need an opportunity of someone offering you an unbiased, open minded ear should you wish to unburden yourself, vent frustration, or share some information you otherwise wouldn't for fear/hesitancy of being judged or misunderstood.

Burnout

  1. Are you finding yourself engaging in unhealthy coping strategies (drinking to excess, eating excessive amounts of food: junk or comfort, and/or self medicating)?

  2. Are you feeling disillusioned about work & life in general?

  3. Are you not turning up for appointments, switching your phone off, or being rude to clients who call?

  4. Are you exhausted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and/or physically?

  5. Are you experiencing frustration, cynicism, and/or other negative emotions?

 

This tends to play out in one of two ways:

  1. You’re having more conflicts with other people, such as getting into arguments, or

  2. you withdraw, talking to your friends and family members less. You might find that even when you’re physically there, you’re tuned out.  These can all be signs that you are possibly, burned out.

 

This can not only take a toll on you mentally, but also physically, emotionally, & spiritually.  To prevent burnout, you need to ensure that you lead a balanced life. Too much work and poor boundaries can take a toll on yourself. It is possible to develop a happy medium where work is not viewed as, so stressful that it takes over your entire life.

Finding balance in life...

How do you find space in your life and the energy to spend with friends, family, exercise, take a moment for yourself, etc.  Unresolved feelings of frustration or anger may lead you to lose your objectivity about work and end up feeling like you simply can’t work anymore.  This may possibly be a sign you have fallen out of balance or out of sync with your ownself.  Before giving up, step back, and take a look at how (or even if) you are truly balancing your life.

 

  • Develop and maintain a balance between your work and personal life.

  • Develop clearly defined boundaries with clients and, if necessary, co-workers.

  • Work out your priorities and manage your time to reduce unnecessary daily stress.

  • Work reasonable hours and avoid double shifts if you are working for an agency.

  • Have realistic expectations of your self and others.

  • Take plenty of breaks and do something you enjoy on days off.

  • Try and take a holiday each year to “getaway from it all”.

  • Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, like a close friend or counsellor.

  • From time to time, look at the big picture. What are your goals?

  • Challenge negative thinking and self-talk and focus on the positives.

  • Take responsibility for your well-being & happiness.

  • Practice nourishing/pampering your physical self with baths, aromatherapy, exercise, yoga, or a mani/pedi.

  • Nurture your emotional self by listening to soothing music, gardening, or following a creative pursuit like writing or art—all are great methods of self expression.

Life after...

Transition from sex work into the "mainstream" lifestyle, ambition(s), goal(s), and/or career path

 

A transition according to Webster is "a change from one state or condition to another."  It's been stated there are four ways someone transitions out of sex work: Reactionary, Gradual Planning, Natural Progression, and "Yo-yo'ing".

 

I agree with the sentiment that when it comes to transitioning/leaving, people need emotional & psychological support.  They also need a nonjudgmental relationship and safe environment, to work through & bounce ideas around, so that they can make choices that are right for them. 

 
Sexual Abuse & Trauma

vic·tim

ˈviktəm/

noun

1. a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.

sur·vi·vor

sərˈvīvər/

noun

1. a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setback.

 

I am here to support you while I strive to develop an active, affective therapeutic relationship, for the foundation to create a safe, interactive environment for you.  This relationship will ideally allow for accessing, reworking, and integrating the traumatic material.  It acts as a bridge to facilitate your reconnection of self and the establishment of trustworthy relationships with others.

 

Sexual Abuse is a particularly sinister type of trauma because of the shame it can instill in you.  Sexual trauma & abuse can have psychological, emotional, and physical effects on a survivor.  These effects such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, substance use, self-harm, flashbacks, eating disorders, trust issues, etc. aren't always easy to deal with, but with the right help and support they can be managed and possibly overcome.